How to approach a spouse with gambling addiction

Gambling addiction is a seriously problem that can ruin families

Gambling is an addiction just like alcoholism is an addiction. When one's spouse cannot refrain from gambling and is willing to risk the majority of or all their hard earned income to play games with miserable chances of success, there is a problem. 

Before taking steps to approach, deal with and eventually solve the gambling problem, it is important to identify if the problem is an addiction or overspending. The Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery offers several warning signs of gambling addiction to help identify it as such. Not showing up to work to gamble, and gaining a reputation as a gambler are two such red flags.

Allow the gambler to face their reality

At first, one's gambling spouse may not want to discuss it, become angry when confronted or deny there is a problem. This is natural, gamblers anonymous indicates a good first step to take with a gambler is to let them face their reality themselves by experiencing the financial problems associated with gambling first hand. They also provide a quick gambling addiction questionnaire that anyone who gambles responsibly and without addiction would be able to answer easily.

Coping is not an option

Allowing flexibility to a compulsive gambler is like giving dangerous toys to a child who doesn't know they're dangerous and telling them it's okay to play with them but just be careful. In other words, the two don't mix. If a spouse has a real gambling addiction the first step to be taken is to help them admit they have a problem. This doesn't necessarily mean forcing them to admit they're addicted gamblers or threatening a divorce but it does mean addressing the issue through a verbal, written or third party approach.

Take control of family finances

If the spouse continues to not accept the problem taking control of the family finances is a logical next step. The gambler may reject the proposition but in light of the situation it may benefit them more than an outright divorce. Seizing control of the family budget may not be easy, but it may be required and does not have to involve an absolute cut off for one's gambling spouse, but rather a return to normalcy or controlled spending.

Offer alternatives to gambling

Now that you are in control of the finances, try and help your spouse by offering them alternatives to gambling that appease their psychological addiction. Such alternatives may include offering a gambling budget in lieu of entertainment money, or a less expensive or different way of gambling such as a lottery ticket allowance.

Gambling groups and social help

It may be necessary and helpful to find outside help such as hypno-therapy, ex-gamblers, and gamblers anonymous groups to encourage your spouse they are not alone and that others like him or her have overcome the problem. These programs have recovery steps, identification methods and support programs for gamblers.

The time it takes for a gambler to overcome his or her problem may take time, patience, love and understanding all the while offering firm support and encouragement. The gambling addiction can be overcome and does not have to destroy a relationship even thought that is a possibility. 

The above steps are useful in assisting a gambler identify, face and resolve their gambling addiction, but should ideally be considered as a supplemental source of information to gamblers anonymous groups. What's more after consulting as many available sources regarding gambling addiction, the steps one takes may best considered in terms of the method which the gambler is likely to respond best to.

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